“And so we’ve come to the end of this session…(sighs of relief). But one more point students, that I missed out eeeess…”
“Maaaaaaaaa’mm….”(annoyed groans).
Class IX-B, Moral Science class, the eight period, the first bench, two oily plaits, drenched in Mrs. Angel Pinto’s generous shower of saliva – no points for guessing! Yeah that’s me and this is exactly the fifty-second time I’m taking a desperate sneak peek at my watch.
“ Eve-teasing is one of the worsest crimes of today (worsest??? Could it get worse than this??? Muffled giggles.) The main reason behind this is (looking straight into my eyes) you girls” (gasps of horror from the accused lot).
“Every evening I see you girls in the beach, hopping around in mini skirts and micro mini shorts. Don’t think there is no one to watch you and catch you girls! (What were you doing at the beach ma’m?) You all are fooling your parents by such misbehaviour. And by fooling your parents, you are fooling God. And by fooling God, you are fooling whom? Yourselves girls, yourselves. Finally what is the result of such shameless dressing? Eve-teasing! Of course the boys will be tempted. Now can we blame them? (I stole an embarrassed glance at the boys. Even newborns seemed less innocent!) .”
Now, an indecent accusation as such is insulting enough. But getting accused in front of the “men” was way too insulting!!! It was one of those rare moments when I felt like a total jerk. We had the most immoral session of moral science class that day.
Swearing under our breath, we, the most ‘demeaning creation of God’ silently vowed to get back at Mrs. Angel Pinto. Angel...ironical isn’t it?
Tick..tick..tick..tick..tick..tick.tick..tick..Trrrrrrrrrrrrringg…
After what seemed like an eternity, we heard the God sent school bell go! With unconcealed happiness, we let out sighs of relief and started packing our bags.
I felt like I needed to be on glucose to catch up on my pathetically spent energy. “How on earth did I live through this lecture?? Phew”… But unfortunately my happiness was short lived…for soon after I heard her saying, “ Thank you children, see you next class!”
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Believed it not
Wednesday 10.15 pm
Dear diary,
How many of us have a dilemma over which group to take in class eleven and twelve? A little more than three fourth of the Class 10 student population at least? Fortunately, I am a class apart. I know for sure that I want the Commerce group. But amma will never let it be. An engineer she is and an engineer I should be.
Amma has serious apprehensions about what Commerce can do for me. A staunch believer of the play of time, dates, stars, the wind, the cats and even the lizards, she tricked me into fixing an appointment with our family astrologer, S.V.P. Giri, to foretell what’s the best for me. I shot out a few unpleasant real-life examples, trying to convince her that astrology is just a fool’s play. But according to amma, astrology is stubbornly a science. I’ve seen S.V.P. Giri a couple of times during my sister’s wedding. I still can’t forget the ugly paan stains on his spaced out teeth. They’re worse than his corny phrases.
Sigh! The battery is going low …the torchlight is getting dimmer and mom will be furious if she finds out what I’ve written. So good night diary… and weirdo Giri, here we come!
Friday, 3.25 pm
Dear Diary,
I can never even mention the word Commerce again in my life. S.V.P Giri has run his dirty boots all over my life. I’m doomed forever. Sob!
Friday, 10.35 pm
Dear Diary,
I saw the paan stains again…and I can’t believe the red-toothed crook tricked my mom into this. Amma and I took a call taxi all the way from Adyar to Ambattur. Mr. Nostredamus wanted us there exactly at the strike of ten and amma didn’t want to keep the busy guy waiting. We got down from the taxi and stepped right on a black cat’s tail. The cat hissed, its eyes clouding in with hatred. I tried convincing my mom that black cats being a sign of bad omen, today wouldn’t be ideal for a prediction as crucial as this. Oddly, she didn’t fall prey to the threat. I followed her inside, disillusioned.
Mrs.Giri wiping her forehead with the tips of her sari, made us sit on the floor of the living room. I watched the ants carry away the food particles that lay scattered around. Cobwebs, cockroaches, soot and the rude clank of vessels … I was surprised at how amma managed to put on a pleasant face.
Giri made his grand appearance, at his own sweet pace, carelessly chewing pawn and spitting out the gooey red mess into a worn-out vessel from the Stone Age. I tried very hard imagining him busy, but failed miserably. He blew his nose and wiped his fingers on his unclean, disgust-evoking dhoti. We sat across him as he hungrily munched on a murukku, after offering us some. Amma quietly pinched my thigh to warn me not take it. I knew better than that anyway. The stench put me off anyway. Wiping his oily fingers on his dhoti again, he started a random play with some nuts and shells. I tuned out of the whole process, but a few words like “Raagu , Kethu, Shani, flew in and out of my ears, forming illusionary question marks inside my head. I knew the session came to an end when he said, “ Kuzhandhaikku science group eduthaa pirkalathula vazhkai jagajodhiya amaiyum”. It took all my will power to hold back the tears that rushed out almost immediately. On our way back, Amma went on with her twaddle about how well software geeks are doing in life. I stood like a deaf mute at the bus stop (we were in no hurry to get back…hence the mode of transport) and let the tears flow out slowly. Drenched in salty dampness, I tried to push away the grim thought of S.V.P. Giri.
Later, during my afternoon nap, S.V.P. Giri tormented me in my dream. But guess what? He’s given me an idea. Astrology is science after all, isn’t it? Giri’s inspired me to study the astrological sciences - or so I’m going to tell amma tomorrow. With her engineering dreams crashing down, it’s going to be a traumatizing decision for her. Let’s wait and watch the melodrama unroll. Hope amma likes the new avatar of her science whiz of a kid. And S.V.P Giri, better get me out of the mess he got me into. Good night diary.
Dear diary,
How many of us have a dilemma over which group to take in class eleven and twelve? A little more than three fourth of the Class 10 student population at least? Fortunately, I am a class apart. I know for sure that I want the Commerce group. But amma will never let it be. An engineer she is and an engineer I should be.
Amma has serious apprehensions about what Commerce can do for me. A staunch believer of the play of time, dates, stars, the wind, the cats and even the lizards, she tricked me into fixing an appointment with our family astrologer, S.V.P. Giri, to foretell what’s the best for me. I shot out a few unpleasant real-life examples, trying to convince her that astrology is just a fool’s play. But according to amma, astrology is stubbornly a science. I’ve seen S.V.P. Giri a couple of times during my sister’s wedding. I still can’t forget the ugly paan stains on his spaced out teeth. They’re worse than his corny phrases.
Sigh! The battery is going low …the torchlight is getting dimmer and mom will be furious if she finds out what I’ve written. So good night diary… and weirdo Giri, here we come!
Friday, 3.25 pm
Dear Diary,
I can never even mention the word Commerce again in my life. S.V.P Giri has run his dirty boots all over my life. I’m doomed forever. Sob!
Friday, 10.35 pm
Dear Diary,
I saw the paan stains again…and I can’t believe the red-toothed crook tricked my mom into this. Amma and I took a call taxi all the way from Adyar to Ambattur. Mr. Nostredamus wanted us there exactly at the strike of ten and amma didn’t want to keep the busy guy waiting. We got down from the taxi and stepped right on a black cat’s tail. The cat hissed, its eyes clouding in with hatred. I tried convincing my mom that black cats being a sign of bad omen, today wouldn’t be ideal for a prediction as crucial as this. Oddly, she didn’t fall prey to the threat. I followed her inside, disillusioned.
Mrs.Giri wiping her forehead with the tips of her sari, made us sit on the floor of the living room. I watched the ants carry away the food particles that lay scattered around. Cobwebs, cockroaches, soot and the rude clank of vessels … I was surprised at how amma managed to put on a pleasant face.
Giri made his grand appearance, at his own sweet pace, carelessly chewing pawn and spitting out the gooey red mess into a worn-out vessel from the Stone Age. I tried very hard imagining him busy, but failed miserably. He blew his nose and wiped his fingers on his unclean, disgust-evoking dhoti. We sat across him as he hungrily munched on a murukku, after offering us some. Amma quietly pinched my thigh to warn me not take it. I knew better than that anyway. The stench put me off anyway. Wiping his oily fingers on his dhoti again, he started a random play with some nuts and shells. I tuned out of the whole process, but a few words like “Raagu , Kethu, Shani, flew in and out of my ears, forming illusionary question marks inside my head. I knew the session came to an end when he said, “ Kuzhandhaikku science group eduthaa pirkalathula vazhkai jagajodhiya amaiyum”. It took all my will power to hold back the tears that rushed out almost immediately. On our way back, Amma went on with her twaddle about how well software geeks are doing in life. I stood like a deaf mute at the bus stop (we were in no hurry to get back…hence the mode of transport) and let the tears flow out slowly. Drenched in salty dampness, I tried to push away the grim thought of S.V.P. Giri.
Later, during my afternoon nap, S.V.P. Giri tormented me in my dream. But guess what? He’s given me an idea. Astrology is science after all, isn’t it? Giri’s inspired me to study the astrological sciences - or so I’m going to tell amma tomorrow. With her engineering dreams crashing down, it’s going to be a traumatizing decision for her. Let’s wait and watch the melodrama unroll. Hope amma likes the new avatar of her science whiz of a kid. And S.V.P Giri, better get me out of the mess he got me into. Good night diary.
Believed it
I clutched the corners of my mom’s sari and furiously chewed on my fingernails, gnawing at my flesh now and then. I had an urge to get back home, to hide inside the warm safety of my cotton quilt. Embarrassed though I was, I edged closer to my mom. We sat in eerie silence in the dim lit room, lost in its peculiar reddish glow. I stared at the low hanging bulbs and the strange patterns they made on the walls. The strange sweet-sick aroma filled me with uneasiness. This was a new world, a world that unnerved me –this was the world of the ace of astrology, Eliza Mendoza.
We had been waiting for more than forty minutes and I couldn’t bear the silence any longer. Confused as I was, I opened my mouth to ask my mom what exactly we were doing in this phony setup. Immediately she shushed me with her stern no-nonsense,
no-questions look. I looked away and started sulking when an attendant (dressed like a messenger of God) announced that “Maa” is expecting us.
My mom hurriedly walked inside the beautifully adorned wooden door. I followed reluctantly behind. After all, astrology was just as credible as the WWF.
As soon as we entered, the attendant shut the door behind us. So, this was Eliza Mendoza. God! What a presence! The woman was distinctly built and her nativity was difficult to decipher. She was so simple, yet so imposing. I suddenly lost the uncanny emotions that had crept up inside me, in the waiting room. Now I was filled with peace, tranquility…total serenity…. haaaaaaah.
‘Maa’ and mom had a ceremonial discussion about my birth, the stars, the sky and the airs, while I slowly swallowed the elements around her. I was suddenly interrupted when I heard mom asking her about which group I should be taking in my class eleven and twelve. I was shocked beyond words! Did we come all the way for such a simple affair? Such a big woman being traumatized with such juvenile issues! I went hot with embarrassment. I was preparing myself to get rudely thrown out soon. But to my utter surprise ‘Maa’ turned towards me and said, “ You want to be a gynecologist don’t you?” My lips parted in astonishment. I nodded, wide-eyed, like an astonished kinder garden kid. Her words came out in measured succession - “When you were ten, you wanted to be a pilot. When you were twelve you wanted to be a beautician. But now, at fifteen you have matured enough to know what you want. I see your future filled with babies. I see you bringing joy to families, I see you saving lives. You are a child of the biological sciences. You belong to the organic segment of life”. She turned elegantly to my mom and said, “ Now, is your questioned answered?”
I was awe-struck. This world did exist… for sure. A world that studies people – scientifically, supernaturally, mysteriously (I didn’t know how. I just knew it did. It was a flash of a realization. It was an experience).
We paid the heavy fee and turned to go, feeling as light and free as birds. I looked at ‘Maa’s” face. She didn’t smile, but still looked warm, tender and loving. This very look I knew, will bring me back to this world of beautiful obscurity, beautiful truth.
We had been waiting for more than forty minutes and I couldn’t bear the silence any longer. Confused as I was, I opened my mouth to ask my mom what exactly we were doing in this phony setup. Immediately she shushed me with her stern no-nonsense,
no-questions look. I looked away and started sulking when an attendant (dressed like a messenger of God) announced that “Maa” is expecting us.
My mom hurriedly walked inside the beautifully adorned wooden door. I followed reluctantly behind. After all, astrology was just as credible as the WWF.
As soon as we entered, the attendant shut the door behind us. So, this was Eliza Mendoza. God! What a presence! The woman was distinctly built and her nativity was difficult to decipher. She was so simple, yet so imposing. I suddenly lost the uncanny emotions that had crept up inside me, in the waiting room. Now I was filled with peace, tranquility…total serenity…. haaaaaaah.
‘Maa’ and mom had a ceremonial discussion about my birth, the stars, the sky and the airs, while I slowly swallowed the elements around her. I was suddenly interrupted when I heard mom asking her about which group I should be taking in my class eleven and twelve. I was shocked beyond words! Did we come all the way for such a simple affair? Such a big woman being traumatized with such juvenile issues! I went hot with embarrassment. I was preparing myself to get rudely thrown out soon. But to my utter surprise ‘Maa’ turned towards me and said, “ You want to be a gynecologist don’t you?” My lips parted in astonishment. I nodded, wide-eyed, like an astonished kinder garden kid. Her words came out in measured succession - “When you were ten, you wanted to be a pilot. When you were twelve you wanted to be a beautician. But now, at fifteen you have matured enough to know what you want. I see your future filled with babies. I see you bringing joy to families, I see you saving lives. You are a child of the biological sciences. You belong to the organic segment of life”. She turned elegantly to my mom and said, “ Now, is your questioned answered?”
I was awe-struck. This world did exist… for sure. A world that studies people – scientifically, supernaturally, mysteriously (I didn’t know how. I just knew it did. It was a flash of a realization. It was an experience).
We paid the heavy fee and turned to go, feeling as light and free as birds. I looked at ‘Maa’s” face. She didn’t smile, but still looked warm, tender and loving. This very look I knew, will bring me back to this world of beautiful obscurity, beautiful truth.
Bride and Prejudice
I knew it was going to happen when I saw a jet black raven, the first thing in the morning, cawing desperately on the tree outside my window. The pain was right outside, all big and bulky. It was one sight I hated, feared, dreaded. Sweety Aunty was such a delight wasn’t she? The iron-wallah, far down the lane would be giving me know-it-all smiles in no time. For as loud and shrill as an owl was her marriage proposal for me. Mr.Perfect, her son, was the one who was supposed to be my perfect match. I planted a huge smile and sat across her blushing furiously, which she unfortunately mistook as romantic embarrassment. He’s tall, a geeky medico, straight down from the United Kingdom, fair, well built and what not and whatever! One hell of a Sweety aunty’s replica is all I have to say. Uggh!! He didn’t mind my qualification. I just had to be an ok cook and a loving wife, she said. Man, what kindness! A geeky medico from the U.K…one hell of a Sweety aunty’s replica! No way… I tried to shut my mind off, but the shrill whine seemed to rake into my brain and wake me up. I shot an irritated glance at my mom and she quickly shot back a look of pity. That one look convinced me, that Sweety aunt and her big bundle of joy, Mr. Perfect were by means lulling me into marriage. After all, Sweety Aunty happens to my dad’s cousin and well my dad’s fraternity – that’s one thing my mom’s allergic to. She can even tolerate lizards, I swear! Now I relax and give her a shy smile. I’ve decided to play along.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
